In December 2022, I finally came out to the world as the woman I’ve always been. That moment wasn’t sudden. It was the culmination of a year of therapy, reflection, and soul-searching. I spent all of 2022 getting to know myself, truly and completely, for the first time in my life. And when I emerged from that chrysalis, it was like I could finally breathe.
Was it scary? Of course. I feared I might lose my fiancée Claire, the woman I love with all my heart. But once she saw how serious and essential my transition was, she simply said:
“Well, I guess I’m a lesbian now.”
That moment alone speaks volumes about love, loyalty, and choosing each other again and again. She re-proposed to me (as my true self) in December 2022, and we plan to get married next year.
I worried how my son would react too… but his only real concern was whether I’d still do cool stuff with him, like fixing up old cars and playing Xbox. (Spoiler: I absolutely do.)
Now? Life is joyful in ways I didn’t even think were possible before.
I LOVE my extensive wardrobe – I have probably donated / given away twice the amount of clothes I have even now. I adore getting my makeup just right, especially my signature winged eyeliner. I’m femme as hell mostly, but you’ll still find me getting stuck in with DIY, fixing things or working on my car. I challenge gender norms every day just by living… and I thrive on it!
What’s been even more incredible is how natural my womanhood feels – not just to me, but to the world around me. Cis women confide in me about relationships, periods, all of it. I’ve joined women’s football teams (briefly, but joyfully), and the fact I’m still invited to play wherever I can reminds me how far I’ve come, and how welcome I am.
Since coming out, I’ve grown in other ways too. I’ve unpacked old assumptions and biases, about gender, about myself, about others. I’m a better person now; more self-aware, more empathetic, and more unapologetically me.
I also know that I came into this journey with a lot of privilege: I’m white, live in a safe area, have a full-time job, and a family who accepts me. So I made a vow early on; to use my position to help others. I’ve mentored and supported other trans people, and had some beautiful, life-changing conversations with cis people who’ve genuinely listened and changed their views. That means the world to me.
Through all of this, I’ve built the most incredible network of love and support. Claire is my rock. Violet, my adoptive little sister, and I have grown incredibly close. Joanna is like the big sister I never had, and Dillon… well, he’s a kindred spirit, and I talk to them every day. People like Lizzie, Bella, Davina, Michaela, Kira, Lillith, Sara, Adrianna, Quinn (RIP), Sarah, Lucy, Fee, Gemma, Charlotte, Becky, Melly, Alice, Lilly, Jo, Gwen, Sharon, Caspar, Demi, Pen, Cam, Jessica, Chelsea, … I could go on and on. Each one of them has helped me thrive in some way.
And I’m not done. I’m excited to keep showing up as me. Unapologetically, joyfully, and visibly. I want to be a voice of hope and truth in our community, to show that you can be both soft and strong, proud and persistent. I will never stop fighting for our rights and our dignity. But I also want to remind us all that trans life is full of real joy.
If I could go back and speak to the old me (the one just before coming out) I’d simply whisper:
“Hold on girl, it’s going to be a bumpy ride, but the happiness you will achieve will be so worthwhile. Be strong. You can start actually living soon.”
And I really am living.
Thank you all, from the bottom of my hearts – Amelia (Ami). 💙💙
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