Visible but Vulnerable

When you’re trans, visibility is a double-edged sword. We seek connection, validation, and community online because, too often, the physical world doesn’t give us safe or welcoming spaces. But the same tools that help us find each other can also be used to target us.

This article isn’t about retreating from the internet. It’s about navigating it wisely. About protecting yourself while still being seen, heard, and valued.

Last week I was part of an online session meant to be a safe, supportive space for trans people to discuss healthcare reforms. Unfortunately someone gained access under false pretenses, impersonated a facilitator, and recorded the meeting without consent. That recording included names, faces, health disclosures, and potentially legally sensitive information. It has not been recovered.

To be perfectly honest, I was really shaken. I’d shared personal, vulnerable information. I trusted the space. And suddenly, my words, my identity, and my safety were in someone else’s hands.

This wasn’t just an ‘oops’. It was a breach of trust and a wake-up call.

The first step to protecting yourself is understanding what’s already out there. Here’s how to take control:

• Search yourself regularly using your full name and common usernames. What comes up? Can someone find out where you live, work, or receive care?
• Limit what’s public. Consider making your Instagram, Facebook, or Threads account private. Don’t share your email, phone number, or location openly.
• Remove old posts or accounts that you no longer use, especially if they contain identifying details or images.
• Use Google’s removal tools to request deletion of outdated search results or cached pages.

• Two-factor authentication (2FA) is a must. Use an authenticator app instead of SMS if you can.
• Don’t reuse passwords across platforms. Use a password manager if needed.
• Be cautious with DMs from unknown accounts, especially those that try to steer you off-platform.
• Check your followers. If someone looks fake or suspicious, block or remove them.
• Use aliases or nicknames if your legal name isn’t something you want publicly tied to your identity.

When attending online meetings, workshops, or consultations, especially around healthcare or advocacy:

• Ask if the session is being recorded, and if so, who will have access and how long it will be kept.
• Check whether the meeting link is public or private, and whether there is a waiting room or verification process.
• Pay attention to whether real names or usernames are being used, and what is being encouraged.

Sometimes, online risks follow us offline.

Some practical steps that help:

• Review where you park. If you drive, choose well-lit, busy areas to park when possible. Minimize walking too far from your vehicle to your destination, especially if on the same schedule every day.
• Vary your routine. Don’t make it easy for someone to track your daily patterns.
• Be aware of your surroundings, especially when arriving at or leaving familiar places.
• Disable location sharing on fitness or navigation apps unless absolutely necessary.
• Keep your workplace or school informed (discreetly) that no personal info should be shared with anyone calling or asking about you.
• Consider what you wear or carry when walking anywhere. Sure, those 4″ heels may look amazing, but if you need to get anywhere quickly, you may be thankful you chose flats or trainers. Also, it’s great to be prepared and bring everything but the kitchen sink, but think of the weight and inconvenience if you’ll be carrying your bag for a while.

You Deserve to Be Safe and Seen

None of us should have to shrink ourselves to stay safe. But until digital spaces catch up with the realities of being trans, we need to look out for ourselves and each other.

If you’ve been part of a breach, or you’re feeling exposed, you are not alone. Take the time to lock things down. Reach out for help. And when you’re ready, speak up. Your story might protect someone else.